Next month, I’ll be taking my first international trip since the pandemic. And to be honest, booking it felt equal parts exciting and terrifying. For the last few years, on top of navigating the pandemic, I’ve been a caregiver, which meant that traveling was out of the question. I had put off going anywhere that I couldn’t either round-trip in a day or, at most, be home the next day.
After having stayed in place for so long, the idea of traveling again was met with emotions I wasn’t expecting to feel. Something about finally booking this trip triggered me. The trip marks not only my grandmother’s passing, but also the beginning of a new chapter for me, one that on some days, I don’t feel quite ready for.
For the last few years, all I could do was wonder what it would be like when I could go somewhere, be anywhere, and do anything. And while I’m looking forward to a new adventure, the reality is much different from all of that pondering.
I share this perspective in case anyone reading this is dealing with a loss or grief. As friends have reminded me, and perhaps it will be helpful to you to hear as well, be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time.